This picture was taken at my birthday party 3 months BEFORE the attack. It was also 3 months into my relationship with my boyfriend. I look VERY happy!
This picture was taken on 1 October 2011, 6 days AFTER the attack. As someone put it, I was smiling, but the smile was not reaching my eyes. When I saw this picture, I said, “That’s not my face, that doesn’t even look like me.” When I told my friend, Kim, she told me to document it by taking other pictures.
This is one of the pictures I took of myself on 10 October 2011. I look so unhappy.
This was taken this year on my birthday, 9 months after the attack. It’s not a bad picture, but if you compare it (which, of course, I do) to the one taken a year before, I still do not look ‘right.’
Better, I suppose, but still not completely ‘me.’ At least that’s how I see it. Yes, it is a little over a year since the worse day of my entire life and the stress of the last year is, more than likely, showing up on my face. One of the things I said a lot right after the attack and throughout the last year was, ‘I lost my shiny.’ To me, I guess, that meant (and still does) I felt like I lost my sparkle, my joy and my happiness. Those things have slowly, but slowly come back. I still see a changed face when I look in the mirror and maybe that is nothing more than being a year older. Something was definitely lost that day, BUT a lot more was gained. And that’s the real reason I am telling of my experiences. Everything IS different, and that’s not a bad thing.