EVEN MY FACE CHANGED

Happy and Shiny

This picture was taken at my birthday party 3 months BEFORE the attack.  It was also 3 months into my relationship with my boyfriend.  I look VERY happy!

Not my face

This picture was taken on 1 October 2011, 6 days AFTER the attack.  As someone put it, I was smiling, but the smile was not reaching my eyes.  When I saw this picture, I said, “That’s not my face, that doesn’t even look like me.”  When I told my friend, Kim, she told me to document it by taking other pictures.

Not a happy or shiny person

This is one of the pictures I took of myself on 10 October 2011.  I look so unhappy.

9 months after

This was taken this year on my birthday, 9 months after the attack.  It’s not a bad picture, but if you compare it (which, of course, I do) to the one taken a year before, I still do not look ‘right.’

Latest picture of me, taken 2 weeks ago

Better, I suppose, but still not completely ‘me.’  At least that’s how I see it.  Yes, it is a little over a year since the worse day of my entire life and the stress of the last year is, more than likely, showing up on my face.  One of the things I said a lot right after the attack and throughout the last year was, ‘I lost my shiny.’  To me, I guess, that meant (and still does) I felt like I lost my sparkle, my joy and my happiness.  Those things have slowly, but slowly come back.  I still see a changed face when I look in the mirror and maybe that is nothing more than being a year older.  Something was definitely lost that day, BUT a lot more was gained.  And that’s the real reason I am telling of my experiences.  Everything IS different, and that’s not a bad thing.

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