SPREADING KINDNESS

Several weeks ago I received the following email:

Hi Tamerie!

My name is Aileen and I just came across your story that was featured on the Kindness Blog! This one here: http://kindnessblog.com/2014/10/29/an-act-of-kindness-saved-my-life/

I was e-mailing you because I wanted to ask you if we could feature your story on our website Love Made Known (http://lovemadeknown.com). My husband and I started it a few months ago and we share people’s stories of what God has done in their lives weekly. Please let me know if we can feature you!

If you’re interested, we will need a mini bio, a profile picture and any social media or website links you’d like people to find you at!

Thank you so much, Tamerie! God bless you!

-Aileen

I wrote Aileen back and said, that yes, it was fine for her to feature my story on her web site.  Well, today is the day:

Thank YOU for giving us the opportunity to share your story. Praise God for that ūüôā

Here is the final link for you to share with family and friends:

http://lovemadeknown.com/an-act-of-kindness-saved-my-life/

15 SIMPLE WAYS TO SPREAD KINDNESS…

15 Simple Ways to Spread Kindness in Your World Starting Today
by HENRIK EDBERG

‚ÄúConstant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.‚ÄĚ
~Albert Schweitzer

‚ÄúThree things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.‚ÄĚ
~Henry James

“Kindness is often a pretty simple thing to spread in the world.

But we sometimes forget about it. Or don’t remember how it can help us all.

Three things that I like to keep in mind and that help me to try to be a kinder person are these:

I get what I give. Yep, some people will be ungrateful, miserable and not reciprocating no matter what you may do. But most people will over time treat you as you treat them.
By being kinder to others I am more likely to be kinder to myself. It may sound a bit odd but my experience is that when I am kinder towards others then my self-esteem goes up and I think more highly about myself.
It creates a happier place to live in. Being kinder simply makes my own little world a nicer and happier place to live in.
So how can you start spreading the kindness in your daily life?

Here are 15 simple ways to do it.
Pick one of the them that resonates with you and start spreading the kindness today.

1. Express your gratitude.

Think about what you can be grateful for about someone in your life. Maybe that he is a good listener, that he often is quick to help out or that he always adds great songs to a Spotify playlist. Or simply that he held up the door for you.

Then express that gratitude in a simple ‚Äúthank you!‚ÄĚ or in a sincere sentence or two.

2. Replace the judgments.

No one likes to be judged. And the more you judge other people the more you tend to judge yourself. So despite the temporary benefit of deriving pleasure from the judgments it is not a good or smart long-term habit.

When you feel the urge to judge ask yourself: what is one kind thing I can think or do in this situation instead?

3. Replace the unconstructive criticism.

Try encouragement instead of excessive criticism. It helps people to both raise their self-esteem and to do a better job.

And it will make things more fun and more light-hearted in the long run.

4. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

It is quite easy to resort to unkindness when you see things just from your perspective. Two questions that help me to see and to better understand other viewpoints are:

How would I think and feel it if I were in his or her shoes?
What parts of this person can I see in myself?
5. Recall how people’s kindness made you feel.

Just sit down for a few minutes and try to recall one time or a few times when other people’s kindness really touched you and helped you out.

Then think about how you can do those very same things for someone in your life.

6. Express kindness for something you may often take for granted.

It is easy to remember and to feel motivated to express kindness when someone is having a rough time or have just finished an important project.

But also remember to express kindness for how someone continues to put so much love into the dinners you eat. Or for being on time every day and doing their job well and keeping deadlines.

7. Hide a surprising and kind note.

Leave a small note with a loving or encouraging sentence in your partner’s or child’s lunchbox, hat, tea-container or book that he or she is reading right now.

That minute of your time will put a smile on her face and joy and motivation in her heart.

8. Just be there.

Listen ‚Äď without thinking about something else ‚Äď when someone needs to vent.

Just be there fully with your attention. Or have a conversation and help someone find his or her way out of fear and to a more constructive and grounded perspective.

9. Remember the small acts of kindness too.

Let someone into your lane while driving. Let someone skip ahead of you in a line if he’s in a real hurry. Hold up the door for someone or ask if they need help when you see them standing around with a map and a confused look.

10. Give someone an uplifting gift.

Someone in your life may have a bit of a tough time right now. Then send him or her an inspirational book or movie. Or simply send an email with a link to something inspiring or funny that you have found like a blog, article or a comic.

11. Help someone out practically.

Give them a hand when moving or with making dinner or arrangements before a party. If they need information, then help out by googling it or by asking knowledgeable people that you know.

12. Help the people in your life see how they make a difference in their lives.

When you talk to someone about his or her day or what has been going on lately then make sure to point out how he or she also has spread kindness and given value. People are often unaware of the positive things they do or they minimize them in their own minds.

So help them to see themselves in a more positive light and to improve their own self-esteem.

13. Remember the 3 reasons for kindness at the start of this article.

It will help you to be kinder even when you may not always feel much like it. If you like, write those reasons down on a piece of paper and put that note where you can see it every day.

14. Pay it forward.

When someone does something kind for you ‚Äď no matter how big or small ‚Äď then try to pay that forward by being kind to someone else as soon as you can.

15. Be kinder towards yourself.

Then you will naturally treat other people with more kindness too. It is truly a win-win habit.

A simple way to start being kinder toward yourself is to each evening write down 3 things you appreciate about yourself and about what you have done that day in a journal.”

 

This post is from thePositivityBlog.com.

 

 

Graham Moore’s Oscar Speech Sends a Heartfelt Message to Those Kids who Feel They are Weird, Different or Don’t Fit in.

Loved this post on KINDNESS BLOG…

Kindness Blog

Graham Moore won Best Adapted Screenplay for ‚ÄúThe Imitation Game‚ÄĚ at Sunday‚Äôs Oscars.

The screenplay was about Alan Turing, the genius codebreaker who did so much to help the Allies overcome the Nazis during World War II, but was later demonized and eventually committed suicide.

He used the win to give a powerful speech about being ‚Äėdifferent‚Äô, depression and suicide awareness.

Graham Moore's Oscar Speech Kindness

Graham Moore's Oscar Speech Kindness

Graham Moore's Oscar Speech Kindness

Graham Moore's Oscar Speech Kindness

Graham Moore's Oscar Speech Kindness

Graham Moore's Oscar Speech Kindness

Graham Moore's Oscar Speech Kindness

His moving speech has been welcomed with much praise with several stars including Ellen DeGeneres and singer Ariana Grande applauding it.

DeGeneres wrote on Twitter: ‚ÄėCongratulations Graham Moore. That speech was beautiful. You should think about being a writer.‚Äô

While Grande posted: ‚ÄėAnyone else want to hug and thank Graham Moore?‚Äô

The screenwriter said he had imagined the moment on stage as a teenager when he would get to say those things during an acceptance speech, and said that it was surreal to be able to do it for…

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BEING KIND COSTS NOTHING

Today’s post is short…

My mother always said it was far easier to be nice or kind than it was to be mean or unkind. ¬†I didn’t really believe this when I was a teenager. ¬†I had brothers who were always mean to me and when ignoring them did not work, I thought being mean back was the best solution to the problem. ¬†It wasn’t. ¬†As an adult, I can understand that being kind is the only way to go through life. ¬†A smile, a compliment, a simple ‘good morning,’ though all seemingly small gestures, may make the difference between a good day or a rotten day for someone, whether a friend or a stranger. ¬†Really, how difficult is it to smile at each person you meet? ¬†Even if you are feeling less than great yourself, the very act of being kin to someone else will make you feel better. ¬†Since it is impossible to tell what people are going through or dealing with simply by looking at them, kindness is always the best bet. ¬†We’ve all heard stories about someone who had made a decision to end his or her life, but because of the kindness that a friend, or even a complete stranger showed, perhaps a smile that was directed at them, they felt a little less alone and decided that, maybe, just maybe, life was worth sticking around for, after all. ¬†We have also all seen the bumper sticker MEAN PEOPLE SUCK, and while it is true, why must we put out such a negative thought into the world? ¬†Why not have a bumper sticker that says, KIND PEOPLE RULE or ALWAYS CHOOSE KINDNESS or KINDNESS IS THE WAY?

The quote below, stolen from a friend’s Facebook wall, pretty much sums it up:

 

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WE NEED TO STOP ‘SHOULDING’ OURSELVES

I almost titles this “WE SHOULD STOP SHOULDING OURSELVES,” but irony aside, it seems to be something we all do. ¬†I should do this; I should do that. ¬†I should be thinner or prettier or richer. ¬†I should be further along in my career; I should workout more or meditate or journal. ¬†I should go to college or I should drop out. ¬†I should work fewer hours or I should work more. ¬†I should change jobs or I should just plain quit my job and become a lady/gentleman of leisure. ¬†Should, should, should! ¬†With all this shoulding going on, it’s no wonder we feel such discontent, like we aren’t living up to our potential.

The dictionary on my iMac defines SHOULD as:

1 used to indicate obligation, duty or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions: he should have been careful | I think we should trust our people more | you shouldn’t have gone.¬† ¬†2 used to indicate what is probable: ¬†$348 million should be enough to buy him out | the bus should arrive in a few minutes. ¬†3 formal expressing the conditional mood. ¬†–(in the first person) indicating the consequence of an imagined event: ¬†if I were to obey my first impulse, I should spend my days writing letters.¬† –referring to a possible event or situation: if you should change your mind, I’ll be at the hotel | should anyone arrive late, admission is likely to be refused.¬† 4 used in a clause with “that” after a main clause describing feelings: it is astonishing that we should find violence here. ¬†5 used in a clause with “that” expressing purpose: in order that training should be effective it must be planned systematically. ¬†6 (in the first person) expressing a polite request or acceptance: we should be grateful for your advice. ¬†7¬†(in the first person) expressing a conjecture of hope: he’ll have a sore head, I should imagine | “It won’t happen again.” “I should hope not.” ¬†8 used to emphasize to a listener how striking an event is or was: you should have seen Marge’s face. ¬†

According to Dictionary.com: should is the simple past tense of SHALL.  And SHALL is defined as 1 plan to, intend to, or expect to: I shall go later.  2 will have to, is determined  to, or definitely will: You shall do it.  He shall do it.  3 (in laws, directives, etc.) must; is or are obliged to: The meeting of the council shall be public.  4 (used interrogatively in questions, often in invitations): Shall we go?

In the end, though, what it comes down to is how we talk to ourselves. ¬†Reading through the definitions, it seems clear to me that SHALL is a much kinder, gentler way of expressing a desire or wish, especially if it is to ourselves. ¬† No one likes to be told what to do, so why do we think it’s okay to should ourselves? ¬†If someone is telling you that you should do this or that or you should go here or there, are you more likely to disregard, ignore or reject what they are saying because of how they are saying it? ¬†My guess is a big fat YES. ¬†It’s the same when we talk to ourselves, even if we aren’t aware of it. ¬†What we say and how we say it to ourselves is just as important, if not even more so, than how we speak to others. ¬†And while it is always a good idea to be kind to everyone, being kind to ourselves is crucial.

I think that for a long time self-love or self-care was seen as selfish. ¬†This is the exact opposite of what is actually true. ¬†If we don’t love, take care of and approve wholeheartedly of ourselves, we cannot do it for others, not really. ¬†I am the most important person in my life, just as you are the most important person in your life. ¬†It cannot be any other way. ¬†This is true whether you are single or married, have children or not. ¬†If you are not happy in and with yourself, you will have nothing to give another. ¬†This is not selfish. ¬†I’m sure you’ve heard the expression about not being able to give what you don’t have. ¬†This is the same idea. ¬†It is all well and good to want to accomplish your intentions, dreams and goals, so why not do it in a kinder way? ¬†Kinder to yourself. ¬†Speak to yourself the way you would to a child. ¬†You (hopefully) would never yell at or berate a baby because of what he or she was unable to do, so why would you treat yourself any differently?

To me, shoulding ourselves is a good place to start, and by that I mean, ¬†STOP SHOULDING YOURSELF! ¬†You are where you are because of the choices and decisions you made yesterday. ¬†If you don’t like where you are, make different choices. ¬†It’s all up to you. ¬†When you use the word should, as the definition says, it typically is a criticism of what you did or didn’t do. ¬†Who likes to be criticized? ¬†As Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. ¬†Then when you know better, do better.” ¬†We now know better. ¬†We know how powerful words are and the way in which they are said can either help or hurt. ¬†Make sure the words you say, especially to yourself, are loving and kind.

 

ALWAYS CHOOSE KINDNESS

Words are powerful. ¬†They can build up, and they can tear down. ¬†A careless comment can profoundly hurt in ways the speaker never intended, or, perhaps, way worse is to purposely hurt another. ¬†For many years now, for as long as I can remember, I have never really cared what people think about me. ¬†As it is often said, your opinion about me is none of my business. ¬†And it should not matter what people say or think about you; what matters is what you say and think about yourself. ¬† I happen to know who I am and what matters to me. ¬†And if you don’t like it or don’t agree with my beliefs, I’m okay with that. ¬†It simply does not matter to me. ¬†The same goes for you and your beliefs…we do not have to agree, and I don’t think it should matter to you if I think differently than you do. ¬†Live and let live is my motto. ¬†I am very careful when I speak because I know that while it is possible to forgive something said in anger or even carelessly, it is never possible to un-hear it, or un-read it, if sent in a letter or email.

What I do NOT understand is why so many people seem to be threatened by those of us who hear the beat of a different drum?  Why must everyone be exactly the same?  Are you trying to tear me down to build yourself up?  Are you unhappy in your own life and somehow think that insulting me will make your life better?

I think that most people think they are unique, that there is something in them that makes them different from anyone else. ¬†Most people do not go around thinking, oh, I’m just like every other person I know. ¬†Quite the opposite, I believe, is true. ¬†And yet, if we don’t wear the ‘right’ clothes or drive the ‘right’ car or go to the ‘right’ school we are somehow considered ‘wrong.’ ¬†Maybe even worse, we are considered eccentric or weird. ¬†Really? ¬†REALLY? ¬†Case in point, me…I happen to drive a 1996 Volkswagen Golf, model Harlequin Special Edition. ¬†My car is one of the rarest VWs ever made. ¬†There are only 70 of this version. ¬†I love my car, which, by the way, is named Grazelda. ¬†Seriously, if ever there was a car that needed a name, it’s my car.

IMG_0001

So, if you don’t like me because of the car I drive, I have only two words for you, but because I do my best to be kind, I won’t actually say them. ¬†At least not out loud. ¬†You better believe I’m thinking them, though. ¬†But because my intention is kindness, the first two (unkind) words I thought fade, and the next two I think are, ‘your loss.’ ¬†And you are entitled to your opinion, but why do you think it’s okay to blurt it out? ¬†Under the guise of ‘helping’ me, it has been suggested that as long as I drive such an automobile, I will never meet a man, because we are judged by others, and with my car, I will be judged as eccentric, and, apparently, no man wants a friend/girlfriend/wife who is seen as eccentric and different. ¬†Well, all I can say is if you don’t like me because of Grazelda, you are not the type of person I would want to be friends with, let alone anything more than that. ¬†I also have to say that I have never had anyone like me and then ‘meet’ my car and say, oh, sorry, I cannot possible like you anymore because you don’t drive a beige car like half the population. ¬†Ridiculous, huh?

For me, it all comes down to…is it kind to say something, and if it isn’t, I DO NOT say it. ¬†EVER. ¬†Because, as I already said, you can never un-hear something. ¬†And as for judging others, as the saying goes:

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ¬†~Wayne Dyer