Tag Archives: health

A DIVER IS BORN

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When I was young I was always climbing trees, swinging on the monkey bars and always, always upside down in some fashion or another.  I taught myself to do front handsprings when I was about 7 or 8.  I was always able to walk on my hands and stand on my head.   So, naturally, I became a gymnast.  The only problem was I was tall.  And I developed early, so I definitely did not have a typical gymnast’s body.  I could do floor and beam, because even with my height, it wasn’t too much of a problem.  Vault was a little more challenging because of my long legs, but I was able to do it.  I didn’t like it, but I could do it.  The uneven parallel bars were another story entirely.  Although I was strong, there was simply too much of me and I’d go swinging off the bars and land on my head. I can’t tell you how many times this happened.  (Actually, this probably explains a lot about me!)  The other ‘problem’ I experienced was an incredibly flexible back and an inability to control just how much I could bend backwards.  Not only was I able I touch my feet to my head, both from the floor or on my hands, I could lean my head back even more and put my feet over my eyes.  My back basically bent in half!  While it sounds great to be so flexible, I also had trouble when attempting back handsprings and back flips.  When you do a back handspring, you are supposed to take up approximately your body’s length on the floor.  For example, if you were, say 5’5″ tall, when you go backwards, your hands should land about 3′ behind you and as your body continues back and your feet flip over, you are supposed to land about 65″ from where you started.  Not me!  I would go straight up and straight down and my hands would land in front of my feet.  What this mostly meant was I landed on my head more times than I can tell you.  It was a little better with back flips because my hands were not involved.  However, this was not the proper way to do it and I would always be marked off at gymnastic meets because of it.  Something had to change.

I was already on a swim team.  Honestly, the only reason I ever joined the swim team to begin with was because there was a boy on the team that I liked and this was a way to spend time with him.  What can I say?  I was 13 years old.  Now, this swim team was a summer team and not my high school team, and this particular boy went to a different high school because our neighborhood was split.  Still, I decided to join my high school team, as well.  Then I discovered the team had only one girl who was a diver.  Ding, ding, ding!  The bell went off in my head…become a diver…how hard can it be?!?  So I told my mother I wanted to dive.  I do not remember how this came about, but I suddenly had a private diving coach, Billy Ray Schmidt.  At the time, he was the coach at The Westminster Schools in Atlanta.  I would be taken several days a week to practice.  This was 1974.  I was 14 years old, and that first year I placed 12th in Georgia for the high school championships.  I had been diving for about 3 months at this point.  My high school got 1st place, overall.  It is not as good as it sounds; still, I had found my new passion.

While diving at Westminster, one of girls I dove with was Jenny Chandler, who went on to take the gold medal for 3 meter springboard at the Montreal Olympics in 1976.  She was so good and an inspiration to watch at practice.  I think I only dove with Billy Ray for about six months, or so.  Then I got a new coach, Carlos de Cubas, the coach at Georgia Tech.  I had diving practice every day of the year, and twice a day in the summer.  I loved Carlos, and he really changed the way I dove, and  he made me into the really good diver I eventually became.  He was a gold medal winner from the Olympics in, I think, 1936 (I could be wrong about the year.) He was originally from Cuba and had a really thick accent.  It took a while for me to even be able to understand what he was telling me.

In 1976 I had been diving for 2 years, and I had a decision to make…should I train for the Olympics in 1980?  Since I came very late to the sport,and since I wanted a life outside of diving, and really, was I actually good enough to compete at the Olympics, I ultimately decided not to train with that goal in mind.  I continued to dive through high school and then because I had two cousins who swam at Florida and for one of the same reasons I chose not to train for the Olympics, that being I wanted a life that consisted of more than just classes and practice, I made the decision not to dive in college.  Oh, I dove intramural, and beat everyone, the boys and the girls, but I never competed again after high school.  In the end, 1980 was the year the USA boycotted the Olympics in Moscow, and boy was I glad I had made the decision I did back in ’76.

It has been years, many, many years since I’ve even been on a diving board.  I like to think I could still do some of the dives I used to.  Realistically, though, I’m pretty sure I can’t.  As for gymnastics, I can still stand on my head, and though I am relatively flexible, I am nothing like I used to be.

The pictures below are from a meet in the summer of 1975 when I was 15:

 

Scan 66Reverse dive, layout position

 

 

Scan 63Front 1 1/2 somersault, pike position

Scan 62Inward dive, pike position

Scan 61Front dive 1 1/2 twist, layout position


Scan 60Inward 1 1/2 somersault, tucked position

I won first place.

A QUESTION OF TRUST

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I was recently asked, given what I went through because of my sexual assault, if I trust again.  I was pretty sure what I was being asked, but I replied, ‘You mean people in general?’  Hesitantly, he said, ‘Yes.’  I suspect he was asking if I trust men again.  What I told him was, ‘Yes.’  He thought maybe I look for ‘the lie’ when dealing with people.  No, no, I don’t think I do.  I’ve thought about it a lot in the last 10 days or so since the question was posed to me, and the longer I think about it, the more I know this is true.

I have definitely been accused in the past of being naive.  Seems hard to believe that someone  would think that of me just because I tended to expect the best from people, and tended to give people the benefit of the doubt.  As Anne Frank said, “Despite everything, I believe that people are good at heart.”  I do my best, though I am not always successful, to live my life this way.  The truth is, even immediately following my assault, when I was still in shock, afraid of most everyone, men, women and children, I still knew, deep inside, that in spite of what had happened to me, most people were not bad.  And just as I really hated living on Coronado for a long time after 24 September 2011, I also knew that it wasn’t the island that had done something to me.  It was one person; well, and the entire process did not help, but it was never Coronado that hurt me.  Didn’t make it any easier to live there though, until I got through it.  I can’t even tell you exactly when it changed back for me, but one day I was walking home from uptown and it suddenly hit me that I no longer wanted to move away anymore.

I believe what I am told…is this the same as trusting someone?  I don’t think people are going to lie to me.  If you tell me something, I trust that you are telling me the truth.  Somerset Maugham said, “It’s a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”  I prefer to live my version of his quote:  It’s a funny thing about people: if you expect the best from them, you very often get it.  Or as Claude M. Bristol said, “We usually get what we anticipate.”  I think Anne Frank, Somerset Maugham and Claude M. Bristol sum up the way I used to be pre-attack, and the way I have, finally, gotten back to after a whole lot of work.  Part of what made my healing process so difficult was getting my head around the fact that it happened to me at all.  The only thing I did ‘wrong’ that morning was be tall, thin and blonde, and was be in a place that a predator was looking for just that type of woman.  I never expected it to happen to me.  Never.  And in spite of doing everything I was ever told or ever heard about how to behave in a situation like I found myself in, nothing worked, starting with no warning bells going off in my head when I first encountered DCD.  I attribute that to the fact that I didn’t expect to be attacked.  I trusted that I was safe.  Turned out I wasn’t, and my world turned upside down as a result.

What I do know with absolute certainty is I cannot, I will not, live my life being afraid.  Part of the reason I worked as hard as I did to heal from this was because no way was I letting one person, one awful event, determine the rest of my life.  I was very lucky that at the time of my attack, I was in a healthy, happy, loving relationship.  I know that my healing process would have been very different, and much more difficult, had that not been the case.  The fact that my boyfriend was very supportive and encouraging made all the difference, and even though, ultimately, the relationship did not survive, he was there for me through the worst of it.  For that, I will be eternally grateful to him.

Back in 2013, I chose TRUST as my word for the year.  This is what I wrote then:

“I TRUST that everything is working out. I TRUST that I am right where I am supposed to be. I TRUST that I am doing just what I am meant to do. I TRUST that everything happens for a reason. I TRUST that even if it may not seem like it at the time, everything truly is happening for my highest good and to make me a better person. I TRUST that the right people, the people who can be helped by my story, will read my story. I TRUST that the right people show up in my life at the right time.  I TRUST that even in the darkest hour, there is light. I TRUST that I am safe. I TRUST that even behind the clouds the sun is shining. I TRUST that I am making a difference. I TRUST that all my dreams are coming true. I TRUST that everything happens in perfect and Divine timing.”

Yeah, what I said more than two years ago!  And since I am two years further along my healing path, I can honestly say that, yes, I do trust people again, though I’m not positive I really ever stopped.  And last, but not least, my new favorite quote from Pinterest:

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And while the patience part is challenging, I do TRUST my journey.

 

HOW ATTACHED ARE YOU?

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THE FIVE LEVELS OF ATTACHMENT:  Toltec Wisdom for the Modern World is a wonderful book by don Miguel Ruiz Jr.

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From the dust jacket:  “Building on the principles found in his father’s bestselling book THE FOUR AGREEMENTS, don Miguel Ruiz Jr. invites us to gauge how attached we are to our own point of view.  In THE FIVE LEVELS OF ATTACHMENT, he will help you gain awareness of the agreements you have been implicitly making all these years that shape your reality and affect your future and show you how to release the attachments which no longer reflect who you really are.

This method is twenty years in the making.  When don Miguel Ruiz Jr. began his apprenticeship into his family’s Toltec tradition, he was just fourteen years old.  His first task was translating his grandmother’s talk from Spanish into English.  One day, as he struggled to keep up with her, she asked him: Are you using knowledge, or is knowledge using you?  

Finding the answer to this question would shape the destiny of his life.  In this groundbreaking work, Ruiz explains each of the Five Levels of Attachment in detail and shows that as our level of attachment to a belief or idea increases, ‘who we are’ becomes directly linked to ‘what we know.’

Our attachment to beliefs — our own and the beliefs of others — manifests as a mask we don’t realize we can take off.  But with don Miguel Ruiz’s help, and some Toltec wisdom along the way, we can return to our True, Authentic Selves, unhindered by judgement and free to pursue our true life’s calling.”

The foreword of the book was written by the author’s father, don Miguel Ruiz.  In it he says, ” My son has spent a great portion of his life silently rebelling against the way other people live, creating many judgements and opinions.  He did not realize that in doing so, he was becoming attached to those judgements and opinions, and his emotional reactions were becoming increasingly intense.  One day he had a conversation with his grandmother — a conversation that would forever change his life.  During this conversation, his grandmother, a faith healer, helped him understand the attachment she had to the rituals she used for healing her patients.  My son saw his own reflection in this interaction with his grandmother and was able to clearly see all of his attachments.   This is how his rebellion came to an end.  Although it took him a couple of years to completely assimilate the experience into his life, he finally decided to share it in a book.  THE FIVE LEVELS OF ATTACHMENT is that book, and it is destined to transform the lives of millions of readers.”

And in the author’s words…”In this book, I will teach you the Five Levels of Attachment.  The are guideposts for gauging how attached you are to your own point of view, as well as how open you are to other opinions and possibilities.  It is my hope that you will engage in this book to measure how attached you are to the various beliefs and ideas in your life that create your reality, your Personal Dream, and contribute to our collective reality and the Dream of the Planet.  Only with this deeper awareness of yourself are you truly free to pursue your passion and experience your full potential.  The choice is up to you!”

 

 

 

THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE

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I loved this book by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.  I just finished listening to it yesterday, though during the middle of it, I ordered the actual book, too.  I knew it was one I’d want to have and be able to reference.  It was a tough listen as times, but it explained a lot of what I’ve been through and continue to go through.

 

 

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What makes this book even more relevant to me is the fact that it was just published in 2014, which means it has the latest information about trauma that is available.

The inside dust jacket has this to say about Dr. Van Der Kolk and the book:

“This profoundly humane book offers a sweeping new understanding of the causes and consequences of trauma, offering hope and clarity to everyone touched by its devastation.  Trauma has emerged as one of the great public health challenges of our time, not only because of its well-documented effects on combat veterans and on victims of accidents and crimes, but because of the hidden toll of sexual and family violence and of communities and schools devastated by abuse, neglect and addiction.

Drawing on more than thirty years at the forefront of research and clinical practice, Bessel Van Der Kolk shows that the terror and isolation at the core of trauma literally reshape both brain and body.  New insights into our survival instincts explain why traumatized people experience incomprehensible anxiety and numbing and intolerable rage, and how trauma affects their capacity to concentrate, to remember, to form trusting relationships, and even to feel at home in their own bodies.  Having lost the sense of control of themselves and frustrated by failed therapies, they often fear that they are damages beyond repair.

THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE is the inspiring story of how a group of therapists and scientists–together with their courageous and memorable patients–has struggled to integrate recent advances in brain science, attachment research and body awareness into treatments that can free trauma survivors from the tyranny of the past.  These new paths to recovery activate the brain’s natural neuroplasticity to rewire disturbed functioning and rebuild step-by-step the ability to ‘know what you know and feel what you feel.’  They also offer experiences that directly counteract the helplessness and invisibility associated with trauma, enabling both adults and children to reclaim ownership of their bodies and their lives.

Readers will come away from this book with awe at human resilience and at the power of our relationships–whether in the intimacy of home or in our wider communities–to both hurt and heal.”

What this book also showed me is the things I did, EMDR, yoga, to name just two, were the ‘right’ ones to undertake and have contributed mightily in my healing process.  I also realize I still have more healing to do –dang it– but that it is possible to rewire the neuro pathways in my brain even more than I’m sure they have already been rewired.  It is a process and as much as I want it to be finished, the simple truth is it’s not.  I think, too, that for people who are on a healing path, it is lifelong endeavor, whether you suffered a traumatic childhood event, a devastating car accident, the death of a child or spouse, or just the day-to-day living of life that can sometimes be unbelievably difficult.  I’m realizing more and more that we are never really finished.  As I always told my therapist, I do not have a choice in this.  I have to keep moving forward.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who has suffered a traumatic event personally or knows of someone who has.  The knowledge and insights you will gain will be invaluable to understanding the why of how trauma affects the body and mind.

 

FIRED AND SENT ‘HOME’

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From my journal:

4 October 1987

“I’m getting sick.  My throat is infected.  I don’t feel too bad but not good either.  Maybe today will be busy and go kind of fast.  I hope anyway.

7:30p  This is just great.  I’ve basically been fired.  I’m being sent back to Hamburg tomorrow morning.  Supposedly, it was mainly my not understanding the language.  And the regular model is well now.  But Katharina (the bitch) made me believe that my not understanding German had nothing to do with it.  That girl is so in love with herself, it’s ridiculous.  She’s such a snot.  Enough said about her.

Anyway, once again I wonder what the fuck I am doing over here trying to model.  And for that matter, why am I in this business at all?  I really don’t like Germany.  I think the people (as a whole) are very rude.  I simply don’t like being away from what I know.  I wonder if I subconsciously wanted to lose my book?  I also wonder what’s going to happen tomorrow when I get back to the agency?  I think I should get paid for the whole time even though I didn’t stay.  I was booked for the 4 1/2 days and any other booking (ha) that I might have had, would’ve been turned down because I was already booked.  I wonder if they (Cosmo) are going to blame me for this?  I sure hope not.  This is just one more thing to add to their list of why I shouldn’t be here.  Just what I need.

Chipsey is just like Charlotte.  She is sleeping under her blanket.  She’s so cute.

I guess I should call Jan and let her know I’ll be back tomorrow morning.  She has that look-see at Otto.  I guess I’ll just have to hope that Siggi is there and can let me in to the apartment.  I should get back around 10a or so.

This whole deal just makes me want to go home.  I sure didn’t need this on top of losing/having my book stolen.  I am so tempted to just say fuck it and leave.

5 October 1987

I’m sitting on the steps outside the apartment door.  It is now 1p; I’ve been here since 11a.  Siggi is not home.  Neither is Jan.  I sure hope she has a break between appointments.  With my luck, she’s either testing or booked until tonight.  I’m tired and I want to sleep.  I don’t feel good.  I do have my blanket, but I don’t really want to sleep in the stairwell.  I feel like a derelict with no place to go.  I bought a book in the airport in Munich, but don’t feel much like reading.

I can’t stop thinking about L.  I sure don’t know why because I don’t even like him.  He’s really kind of a jerk.  I know he’s just out to get what he can, but that doesn’t seem to bother me.  I guess as long as the fantasies remain in my mind, there’s nothing wrong with it.  But every time I close my eyes, I imagine him kissing me.  I guess I’ll never have the pleasure.  Besides, he likes Jan and they are probably already engaged.  I couldn’t believe how envious and jealous I was of Jan the other night.  She has no strings on her.  She can do whatever  whenever with whomever she pleases.  I think I still love D and miss him (in a way) but…   I won’t do anything I shouldn’t though.  At least I don’t think I will.

8p    Finally go in the apt around 1:30.  The lady across the hall had an extra key and let me in.  Jan arrived about 10 minutes after that.  She had quite a weekend.  She tested on Saturday with L.  He ended up staying the night Saturday and Sunday.  She says she doesn’t like him, but I think she does.  She slept in my bed and he slept in hers.  I wish I could stop having lewd thoughts about him.  It would be foolish tho do anything with him though.  He seems to me to be the type who would blab to everyone.  Sure don’t need that.  Jan’s attitude about it amazes me, though.  We were talking about it and she said that it’s not like it would mean anything.  She also said L asked about my marriage.  He said I seemed to him to be in a weird situation, and wondered if I was happily married.  I wonder why I give that impression?  (Maybe because I’m not!) He’s not the first to think that.  Oh well.  I guess I’ll go on in my mind thinking about him, but I can’t see it going any further.  Besides, fantasy is always better than reality.

13 October 1987

How true that last line I wrote is.  So much has happened since I last wrote, but I’m not going to back track.  Suffice it to say that I’ve once again learned a lesson and that I’m over my ‘crush’ on L.

I have a lot of things on my mind that I should probably write down, but I am simply not up to dealing with them.  Maybe later.

I sure hope the test Jan and I did on Saturday comes out good.  The film will be ready this afternoon.  I certainly need the boost a good test will bring.  I also hope that my other photos from Chicago will be here this week.  They have to be.  I’m pissed that D didn’t make more of an effort.  And since he is going out-of-town today for business, there is no telling when they’ll be sent if it he didn’t already send the package.  Fuck.

Well, Jan, it’s 11 o’clock, so why the fuck haven’t you called me?  I guess you are just going to be locked out.  You should’ve called.  She’s probably off having sex with L.  I’m so glad that I didn’t.

15 October 1987

I’m getting dissatisfied with my life again.  That’s a dangerous thing for me.  I don’t want to go back to Chicago.  I want to wander Europe for a couple of years.  What I really need is to be a wealthy man’s kept woman.  With no strings attached, of course.  Fat chance!  I wonder if D’ll screw that bitch again.  I wouldn’t doubt it.  I guess I’ll never know, and, really, do I even care?

16 October 1987

It’s getting harder every day not to just give up and go back.  But it’s like Jan said, I don’t want to back or I would have 2 weeks ago when my book was stolen.  Another week of doing nothing.  My stuff from Chicago still hasn’t arrived.  That really pisses me off.

2:30a   I’ve decided/realized I am on a course of self-destruction, and I’ve got to get off.  I know that’s why I’ve been eating the way I have.  Trying to stuff my sadness…”

 

It has been years since I’ve read this particular journal and I am amazed at just how unhappy I truly was.  And what a potty mouth I used to have!  The saga continues in next Wednesday’s installment of ‘My West German Adventure.’

 

DYING TO BE ME

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From the back cover of the book:  “In this truly inspirational memoir, Anita Moorjani relates how, after fighting cancer for almost four years, her body began shutting down—overwhelmed by the malignant cells spreading throughout her system. As her organs failed, she entered into an extraordinary near-death experience where she realized her inherent worth . . . and the actual cause of her disease. Upon regaining consciousness, Anita found that her condition had improved so rapidly that she was released from the hospital within weeks—without a trace of cancer in her body! Within these pages, Anita recounts stories of her childhood in Hong Kong, her challenge to establish her career and find true love, as well as how she eventually ended up in that hospital bed where she defied all medical knowledge. As part of a traditional Hindu family residing in a largely Chinese and British society, Anita had been pushed and pulled by cultural and religious customs since she was a little girl. After years of struggling to forge her own path while trying to meet everyone else’s expectations, she had the realization, as a result of her epiphany on the other side, that she had the power to heal herself . . . and that there are miracles in the Universe that she’d never even imagined. In DYING TO BE ME, Anita freely shares all she has learned about illness, healing, fear, “being love,” and the true magnificence of each and every human being! This is a book that definitely makes the case that we are spiritual beings having a human experience . . . and that we are all One!”

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I listened to this book while in the middle of my healing process (not that is it actually over at this point) from my sexual assault, and I realized that I, too, had had a NDE, a near death experience, though not in the way that they normally occur.  Because my assault was interrupted, which prevented my attacker from following through with his intention to rape me, I was also saved from the punches that were coming my way.  The last thing I remember before hearing my guardian angel’s voice was DCD’s fists getting ready to beat the shit out of me because I wouldn’t stop screaming and fighting him.  The only way he was going to be able to get control of me was to knock me out.  As I’ve said in the past, I was literally fighting for my life.  And in doing that, I dissociated from myself from the situation I was in.  It wasn’t so much that I left my body and was watching what was happening to me as it was the feeling that I simply was not there.   Dictionary.com defines a near death experience as “an unusual experience taking place on the brink of death and recounted by a person after recovery…”  Given that definition, that’s exactly what happened to me.  I am sure I’ll have plenty more to say on this, but for now this post is about Anita Moorjani’s book and her experience.

I loved the book.  Her story is simply amazing.  She was, literally, hours away from certain death when her near death experience occurred.  What she ‘saw’ and ‘heard’ changed her life forever.

 

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YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE

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My choice for today’s book recommendation is YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by        Louise L. Hay.  In 1976, Louise wrote her first book HEAL YOUR BODY, which began as a small pamphlet containing a list of different bodily ailments and their probable metaphysical causes.  This pamphlet was later enlarged and extended and became her book YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE in 1984.  And when no one was interested in her book and what she had to say, she founded her own publishing company, Hay House.   Thirty-one years later, the book has definitely stood the test of time.  A  movie version came out in 2007, and I was fortunate enough to see it at the Seaside Center for Spiritual Living in Encinitas, CA before it was released to the public.  81 years old at the time, Louise introduced the movie beforehand and was a delightful speaker.

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The copy of the book pictured above, the one that I have, was published in 1999.  I’m sure that part of the reason I bought it was how colorful it was.  The larger reason would have been the title.  I very much like the idea that I am/we are, with the thoughts we think, capable of healing ourselves.  “Louise’s key message in this powerful work is, ‘If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.’  She explains how limiting beliefs and ideas are often the cause of illness, and shows how you can change your thinking–and improve the quality of your life!”

YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE made the New York Times bestseller list and remained on it for 13 consecutive weeks. More than twenty years later, in 2008, due to her appearances on the Oprah Winfrey Show, You Can Heal Your Life was again on the New York Times BestsellerLlist. It was the first time in that publication’s history that that has happened!  More than 50 million copies of YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE have been sold throughout the world.

“The thoughts we think and the words we speak create our experiences.”  ~Louise  L. Hay

HAPPY 2015

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I am a bit under the weather, and do not feel like writing.  So instead, I’ll just post these quotes that really resonate with me:

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WARRIOR POSE

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I just finished reading, (yes, I actually had to read it as it is not available on audio), this book, and it is amazing.  AMAZING!  It is Brad Willis AKA Brava Ram’s autobiography, the story of his life as a war correspondent, how a devastating injury changed his life and the unbelievable power of the mind to heal.

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“Warrior Pose is Indiana Jones merged with Gautama Buddha…a miraculous affirmation of the power of self-healing, a war story, a love story and a spiritual journey of epic proportion.  It is your story, my story, the human story.”  ~Dr. Emmett Miller, Pioneer of Mind-Body Medicine

Also from the book jacket:

“From covering the front lines of the Gulf War to investigating Colombian drug lords to living with freedom fighters in the mountains of Afghanistan, war correspondent Brad Willis was accustomed to risk.  But when mortal danger came, it was from an unexpected. direction.

At the pinnacle of his career, a broken back and failed surgery left Willis permanently disabled and condemned to a life in a body brace.  Then came a diagnosis of terminal, stage IV throat cancer.

At his 50th birthday party, friends gathered around Willis, who was crippled, almost mute, depressed, strung out on narcotic medications, and dying.  Halfway through the celebration Willis realized the party’s true purpose–his friends were there to say goodbye.

Everyone knew Willis was on his way out…everyone except his 2-year-old son, who urged, “Get up, Daddy!”

His son’s words ringing in his ears, Willis chose to abandon Western medicine and embrace the most esoteric practices of Yoga to heal his body, mind and soul–ridding himself of cancer and fully restoring his back.  As a symbol of his journey, he took the spiritual name Bhava Ram, which stands for “Living From The Heart.”

Warrior Pose is an adventure chronicling some of the most momentous events of our time through a journalist’s eyes, an unforgettable story about the power of love between a father and son, and a transformational journey of self-healing, inner peace and wholeness.”

Candace Pert, PhD, Chief Scientific Officer, RAPID Laboratories, Inc; author of Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d and Molecules of Emotion: The Scientific Basis Behind Mind-Body Medicine had this to say about the book:

“Remarkable recoveries and miraculous healing of incurable cancers and other terminal disease have been the topic of many recent books.  Bhava, born Brad Willis, has written the most exciting, original and vividly relevant book yet on this topic.  Its concise, hard-hitting prose makes a page turner about the shockingly grim world behind the nightly news as revealed to a top television reporter.  Ram ignores his progressive physical collapse, stuffing his feelings and internal life to focus entirely on his macho career.  Using his fierce will to survive and strong intellect to question medical authority, Bhava draws inspiration from the miracle of his son Morgan, halts his self-sabotaging habits, chooses ‘right living,’ and heals himself via a selfless emotional life dedicated to teaching and healing others.”

I have said before that yoga was instrumental in my healing process, that it definitely contributed to saving my life during my healing process from my sexual assault, and it was and it did.  I am in awe of just how dedicated and determined Brad Willis was to save his own life and transform himself into Bhava Ram.  I highly recommend this book.

 

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS – A TOLTEC WISDOM BOOK

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I loved this book when it was first given to me shortly after I did the Hoffman Process.  I then bought and gave it to everyone I knew.  I have read it many times and now even have it from audible.com.  Just as with any other book, listening to it is a whole other experience.  Since I love being read to, it’s perfect!

The Four Agreements are:

“BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD  Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY  Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS  Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others  as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST  Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.”

Simple enough, yes?  Well, maybe simple, but not necessarily easy to do.  Any yet I know that when I actually practice these 4 agreements, I am much happier.  The book, though relatively short, is quite powerful; and I’ve also found, the more I read it, the more likely I am to remember the agreements and to live by them.

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The author, Don Miguel Ruiz, has also written several other books, which are also good: “The Fifth Agreement,” “The Mastery of Love” and “The Voice of Knowledge,” among others.  All are just as insightful and inspiring, though my favorite remains “The Four Agreements.”