A LITTLE LEVITY

Last night as I was searching/reading through my journal from the spring and summer of 2001, looking for a particular entry and not finding it, I found one from my family reunion in Durango written about 18 month old Grace.  I was trying to get her to sleep and even resorted to singing to her.  Yikes!  I must have decided, as a baby, she might not realize that I actually could not sing.  When I think about it now, maybe that’s the reason she wouldn’t go to sleep…my terrible, off-key singing.  Whatever!  Anyway, in my quest to get her to go to sleep, the only song I could think of was ‘Hush Little Baby,’ but, of course, I could not remember all the words.  Again, whatever.  The funny thing is afterwards I rewrote the lyrics.  I don’t have any illusions that this will become a much-loved lullaby, sung by parents around the world, at least in the English-speaking countries, but it made me laugh, and I woke up thinking about it this morning, so I am sharing it here.  Sometimes we all just need a little comic relief!

 

15 August 2001

“I’m not doing very well at keeping up with my writing.  Late nights, you know.  Tonight, though, I tried to put Grace to bed.  It didn’t work out as Jennifer (nor I) had planned.  She wanted nothing to do with me and wanted only her Mommy.  I even tried singing to her.  The only song I could come up with was ‘Hush Little Baby.’  I finally remembered all the words long after my attempt at putting her bed failed miserably.  I think these are the right (it’s all relative, I suppose) words:  Hush little baby, don’t say a word.  Your momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.  And if that mockingbird don’t sing, momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.  And if that diamond ring turns brass, momma’s gonna buy you a looking-glass.  And if that looking-glass gets broke, momma’s gonna buy you a billy-goat.  And if that billy-goat don’t pull, momma’s gonna buy you a cart and bull.  And if that cart and bull turn over, momma’s gonna buy you a dog named Rover.  And if that dog named Rover won’t bark, momma’s gonna buy you a horse and cart.  And if that horse and cart fall down, you’ll be the sweetest little baby in town.’  At least I think these are the words.  I was thinking, though, that they need an update.  Here’s my new and improved version:  Hush little baby, don’t shed a tear, your daddy’s out buying fishing gear.  And with that new pole in his hand, he’ll catch the biggest fish in all the land.  And if that big fish starts to laugh, daddy’s gonna trade it for a tall giraffe.  And if that tall giraffe breaks free, daddy’s gonna get you a mango tree.  And when those mangos fall to the ground, you’re still gonna be the sweetest little baby around.  Hush little baby, don’t shed a tear.

I crack myself up.”

Yes, I do crack myself up.  I do not even remember writing this.  And I am pretty sure I never tried it out on any unsuspecting babies.

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