A CREATIVE LIFE

When I was 5 or 6 years old,  I wanted doll clothes for my Barbie dolls, but my mother wouldn’t buy them for me.  She said,”They are too expensive, and they are not made very well.”  So if I didn’t want naked dolls, I had to learn how to sew.  If you ask her, she’ll tell you that she taught me to sew.   This isn’t true, although I am certain she helped me to the best of her ability.   My grandmother, her mother, was the one who really taught me.  Since my entire reason for learning how to sew was to make doll clothes, this was pretty much all I made for the first couple of years.  By hand.  I cannot remember exactly when I graduated to a sewing machine, but I do remember the first dress I made for myself when I was 8 years old.  It had 3 arm holes (on purpose) and was a wrap-around dress.  It had only the side and shoulder seams, and the whole dress was banded on the raw edges, so really easy.  I chose a yellow (we are talking school bus yellow) kettle cloth, which I do not even think is made anymore, and orange binding.  Yikes!  What I wouldn’t give to still have that dress, though.   As far as I know, there isn’t even a picture of it.  Bummer!  By nine, I could install a zipper, and I do have a picture of that dress:

old family pictures

I continued sewing, mainly because my mother would buy me fabric whenever I wanted it.  Unlike today, fabric used to be inexpensive, and it was far cheaper to sew your own clothes.  I never had to worry about anyone wearing the same thing as I had on.  I never took Home Economics because by that time I was too far advanced.  The truth is, I could have taught the class.  I did make money sewing while in high school.  I was on the swim team and every Friday before a meet, we had outfits that we had to wear.  The skirts were some kind of purple cotton, and  I ended up making the skirts for all the girls on the team.  Apparently, no one’s mother sewed.  I probably got $10 a skirt.  I also made and sold Holly Hobbie dolls for $15.  Those things were a lot of work, but, I guess for the time, that was pretty good.  Also, these were not dolls to be played with; they were to be sat on a shelf and admired.  If someone wanted to buy one for their daughter to actually play with, I wouldn’t sell it to them.

I took my sewing machine to college with me and used to get up super early to sew before my first class.   I always had new clothes, and would make my outfits for special occasions, usually the night before.  I was always aware of just how long something would take for me to make and I would always wait until the very last-minute to do it.  Some things never change!

I always sewed.  Except, that is, when I went off to Europe to model.  I could not take my sewing machine with me then.  Whenever I was back in the States for even a week, I would drag out the machine and whip up something to take back with me.  When I moved back to the States for good in September of 1990, I continued to model, but started sewing on the side.  I made vests, teddy bears, all kinds of things.  I retired from modeling sometime in 1992 or 1993, and then realized I had to get a ‘regular’ job.  I got one at Loomcraft (a Calico Corners-type store) in the Wrigleyville neighborhood of Chicago.  The store did custom labor for the home, and though I had never done much of that kind of sewing, other than simple curtains or pillows, I decided that was what I would do.  I worked at Loomcraft for 2 years, until I had enough business to quit and sew full-time.  I am proud to say that I never once poached a customer from the store.  It would have been easy to do that, but it was against the rules.  I built my business back then the same way I do today – word of mouth.  And as anyone who is self-employed knows, you work many more hours a week than 40, but at least you are working for yourself.

Today I am happy that my mother forced me to learn to sew.  It has allowed me to have my own business for the last 23 years.  I have the best clients and each one of them comes to me just as my very first one did.  My business has gone through several name changes through the years until several years ago when I changed it to A Little of This That and the Other.  Even though I only make things for the home, I don’t want to limit myself.  You never know when I might decide it’s time to start a line of t-shirts or bathing suits or yoga clothes.  This way, I’m covered.

I have always lived a creative life and cannot imagine living any other way.  Creating beautiful things for people’s homes gives me great joy.  I get to go into all kinds of houses that I would normally never go into.  I’ve been in 14 different magazines over the years, although this has never gotten me work.  Still, I love to see my work in a magazine.  As of right now, I am awaiting a home in Carlsbad, CA that was shot for Coastal Living and another home on Saint Simons Island, GA in Country Living.  I never know until it comes out exactly which of things I did will end up in the magazine, which is really hard.  But when it finally does come out, I am excited and happy to see my work in print.

My other creative outlet is writing and this web site.  It is a completely different kind of creativity and something I have done for most of my life, as well.  Telling my story, at times, is hard.  I think it is important, if for no other reason than to help me make sense of my life.  And in the process, if I help others, then so much the better.  It’s all a part of the healing process.

A SECRET GARDEN, OF SORTS

I was born a poor black child…I was born a coal miner’s daughter…okay, neither of these is my story.  I was born in Morgantown, West Virginia, though no one in my family was a coal miner.  Or a hillbilly, for that matter.  In about 1967 my grandparents bought a hotel in Kingwood, WV.  It seemed giant to me, but it probably was not big at all.  Because my mother was doing her medical school internship after she graduated in 1966, and because she had divorced my father in 1964, and because we (my 3 brothers, though I used to tell people I had 3 monkeys, and I) were less than well-behaved children, which resulted in our live-in housekeeper/babysitter always quitting and leaving my mother without child care, we spent a lot of time at The Inn.  The really funny thing (now) is it was only about 24 miles away from where we lived.  In those days, though, people did not commute, at least not in West Virginia.  This was also long before an interstate highway even existed there, and the road between Morgantown and Kingwood was a curvy, twisty, 2-lane mountain road traveled by coal trucks.  So (in the summer, at least) my mother would take us to Kingwood and leave us for weeks at a time.  Oh, she’d come visit us when she had a day off, though in my mind, she just dumped us there for long periods of time.  (I am willing to allow that my memory might be a little skewed here.)

The truth is I liked going there because I got my own room.  Until we moved to Georgia in 1970, I shared a room with two of my monkeys, I mean, brothers.  (Yuck!)  At The Inn, though, if it was available, and my recollection is that it was almost always available, I got room 15.  I also liked room 14, mainly, because it has a full-sized bed, but it was on what was probably the north side of the building and was always dark.  Room 15 was much brighter and had two twin beds, side by side, but made separately.  I always slept in the bed the furthest from the door.  Of course, I had my own bathroom, which was also nice.  And it had a television.  We were not allowed to watch tv at home.  We would sneak and watch it, but as soon as we heard my mother’s car, we would quickly turn it off.  This was in the days that the tv took forever to go off.  The picture would shrink into a small dot in the center of the screen before it eventually disappeared completely.  All my mother would have had to do was touch the cabinet to know it had been on, though I do not remember her doing this.  So, since I was not supposed to watch it, alone in room 15, you better believe I did.  There were probably just 3 or 4 channels, though, unlike today with hundreds, especially at a hotel.  For some reason it was not all that appealing when I could, literally, watch it all day long and no one would have known or told me not to.

But what I mostly did alone in my room, for hours and days on end, was make paper dolls.  And I made up stories for each of them.  Each had an envelope that she ‘lived’ in, with her name and age written on the outside.  I only made 2 male paper dolls, and one was the father in the only family I ever made, and the other was a teenager, who, basically, was the boyfriend of whichever girl I decided was worthy of him that week.  This was the late 60s and I continued to make them into the mid-70s.  I was very much a tomboy, but also loved playing with dolls, making paper dolls and sewing and designing my own clothes.  (Some things never change, I guess!)  The clothes I made for these paper dolls definitely reflect the time period – lots of bell-bottom pants, big, puffy sleeves, short skirts, body suits and a lot of red, white and blue.

You need to keep in mind that I was not good at drawing, especially faces, so these dolls are really pretty ugly.  I could have taken 100s of pictures, but I limited myself to these few:

The first is my teenage boy, who I named Danny Brown –

 

 

DSCN3282 Mellisa was always my favorite and the one I thought was the prettiest –DSCN3280 Erica Madison was the ‘smart’ one and because of this, DSCN3279she wore glasses, which also came off.DSCN3284This was the model of the group,

DSCN3286

and because of that, she had tons of clothes.  More than the others, though they had a fair amount, as well.  And she also had a body double that you can see on the far right.  She’s the only one I ever did that for, and, now, I have no idea why.
DSCN3291What I used to make the dolls and their clothes was the  card stock-weight paper that I got out of the panty hose packages that my mother bought.  (Looks like I was repurposing long before this was even a word!)  I would draw the girl and then cut her out.  I almost always gave them long hair, which presented a problem to make their clothes fit.  My solution to this was to use the pointy end of the scissors and make a small hole at the shoulder/neck line and then the clothes would always fit properly.  I would then color the doll and cover her with tape.  This was so the clothes would be removable without ripping the doll.  Also, the paper dolls that were store-bought then came with clothes that had little tabs that you folded over, and they never worked.  The clothes always fell off.  The tape method worked really well.  What I did not take into account was that tape discolors over time and all the clothes, in most of the envelopes, are stuck together now.  Oh well.

As silly as this may seem now, being in room 15 and making up stories and lives for my paper doll friends was something I loved doing.  It keep me away from my brothers, and it allowed me to be creative and to indulge that creativity.  I like the idea of making a new paper doll right now.  Of course, I still cannot draw very well and I’m not sure what the solution for the tape problem might be…perhaps glue that dries clear over the body of the girl (because I’m sure I’d stick to girl paper dolls, just like before) but then now to keep the clothes on?  Or I’ll just visit with my old paper doll friends…

OLD FRIENDS

Yesterday, I visited some old friends.

After my acupuncture appointment, I drove to Ocean Beach.  A couple of weeks ago, when I was sick, and mentioned to Matt (my acupuncturist) that I would love a milk shake, because when I was little and would get sick, a milk shake always made me feel better.  I used to go to Fat Burger in Pacific Beach, but it has closed, and I had no idea where I could get a really good milk shake anymore.  Matt recommended Hodad’s in Ocean Beach.  Somehow, that day, I went instead to Pho for chicken soup, and never got my milk shake.  Yesterday, though, I decided it was time, even though I am no longer sick, to get that elusive milk shake.  Having never been to Hodad’s before, I had no idea there would be a long line to get in.  At first, I thought, ‘no way am I standing in line.’  And then I thought, ‘why not?’  Let’s just say it was SO worth it.  I got a veggie burger, which was really good.  I also got fries, and though they were good, I didn’t eat many of them because the milk shake was GIANT, and I had to do my best to drink all of it.  Of course, the shake alone could have fed a family of four!  No lie.  It probably had 9000 calories, but it was worth every single one of them.  The good news is I now know where I can get a fabulous milk shake and the better news is, Ocean Beach is a pain to get to and not on my way to anything, so I won’t be going there often.  The fact that is also a Hodad’s located in downtown San Diego doesn’t seem to matter.

So, after my yummy lunch, I went in the shops along Newport Avenue, and  I saved the best one for last – Vignettes.  The owner, Lori Chandler, was there.  She said to me, “I thought you fell off the face of the earth.  It has been so long since I’ve seen you.”  I said, “I guess you didn’t hear that I had been sexually assaulted 2 1/2 years ago.”  She had not and was shocked and dismayed.  I gave her an abridged version of what happened and what I had been doing, or not doing, for the last, probably 3 years since I was last in her shop.  Among all the things she said to me, the comment that stands out most was, “I am so glad to see that you made it through and out the other side.  You are a survivor.”

She also said that when something traumatic like this happens, your creativity gets stuck, too.  I never thought about it like that before, but she’s right.  Part of the challenge I had when I was right in the middle of the healing was my brain not functioning properly, which made working or reading a book, really most everything, so difficult.  I never even considered that my creativity was somehow ‘stuck.’  The rest of me sure was, so why wouldn’t that aspect also be affected?  Looking back now, I can so clearly see that this was the case.  It’s why blogging was impossible to do.   Even now, though I am working and able to (mostly) think again, I am not engaging in, really, any of the other creative pursuits I used to involve myself in.  Well, except I am doing a post every week on A Little of This That and the Other.  Pre-attack, I used to do a lot of photography and a lot of altering of that photography in Photoshop.  I can’t even remember the last time I did that.  I used to come up with ideas of things to make and then make them, like my tulle dolls or lamp shades or collages.  Wow!  Just thinking about it now is making me remember all of things I no longer do.  Is this just a ‘side effect’ of my attack?  Will the love of creating things, not related to my sewing, eventually come back?  Very interesting…

Since I am thinking about it in ways that I haven’t, perhaps this will jump-start my creative mind again.  I used to get so many ideas of things to do and things to make that all I could do was write them in my idea notebook, because I didn’t have enough time to try them all.  Either I haven’t been open to receiving new ideas or that pipeline has been shut off since September 2011.  I’m going to go with the pipeline being shut off.  And unless my brain damage was more extensive than I realized, I have every confidence that the flow will come back one of these days.  Soon, I hope.  I miss all the ideas, and being in Vignettes yesterday reminded me of that.

 

So, thank you, Lori, for your insights.  It was wonderful seeing you, and I promise it will not be another 3 years before I come see you again.